A beautiful day.

This morning there was frost everywhere here but that has given way to a beautifully sunny day. Cool but lovely, just the same.I have been thinking about how Mum and Bill have been up at Cooma (NSW) and Canberra, where they have been for the last few days. They planned to go to Perisher in the snow fields  and spend the remainder of the time catching up with relatives in Canberra. Mum has never been to the snow before, s0 it will be a great experience for her.

I have a busy afternoon, so I best get back to work

I couldn’t be less interested.

Yesterday, I heard from a good friend and we spent hours chatting on the phone. It was lovely to catch up and spend quality time discussing so many different things.We talked for so long that I lost track of time and was almost late for lectures last night! The class was very good and I am enjoying the camaraderie of fellow students, as we discuss various issues and compare experiences.

At the moment, I am waiting for the cable service guy to come and replace our set top box which has been a problem for some time now. D would climb the walls if he could not watch Foxtel but to be honest I couldn’t be less interested in it LOL

Plenty to do today and later this afternoon I will catch up with Prue, which will be lovely

Uncertainty-not good for those of us who prefer instant answers.

Yesterday was a cold winters day here and other than go out to buy some coffee beans at the deli. I stayed home and enjoyed reading and catching up with friends on the phone. Just on dinner time last night, Prue called and invited us to join her,her housemates and their partners, out for dinner at a favourite Vietnamese restaurant. We would have gone but dinner was already prepared and ready to be served here, so we said we would love to join them another night. I am sure they would have had a good night. I think a night out would have been a tonic for Prue as she is not handling my health situation very well. We chatted about it last night when she called and she is down on herself for what she thinks is her lack of support  but she is so wrong. She is the most supportive person I have ever known, in fact she cares so much and it begins to affect her adversely. I think we will all be happy when the biopsy is performed next Wednesday because it is the uncertainty that is difficult to cope with. At least having some answers will alleviate that anxiety.

Big thanks, to everyone who has been in touch. Your messages of support are greatly appreciated

Keeping up appearances.

I have been quite busy over the past few days with work related meetings and yesterday, medical appointments.On the work front,things could not be better and there are some exciting things happening. Health wise, things are less certain. I attended my GP and he explained that as the investigations last week revealed a significant tumour, I have to undergo a biopsy, either today or Monday.I fully expected this because I had a brief conversation with the doctor after he had completed the ultra sound and mammography last week and he said that was the next logical step in determining what’s going on.I am surprising cool about it, I mean, what can I do anyway?I think Prue is slightly annoyed with me for being so accepting of the situation but that’s me I guess. When things go pear shaped , I draw in some inner strength and only later when things are less strained do I begin to express my emotions.I guess I am just good in crisis situations, then collapse into a heap when everything settles!

A big thanks to Prue for her love and support yesterday. Ti amo

Busy days and sleepless nights.

It’s been a busy day so far. After a sleepless night I got up early,made breakfast, then commenced working. Mid morning I went to have my hair trimmed as it has been annoying me, called to pick up a couple of items from the supermarket, then like most of the others in this country, purchased a ticket in tonight’s 90 million dollar lottery.

As I was having my hair cut, my hairdresser and I were discussing what we would do with the money if we were fortunate enough to win. She said she would build a new house, take her children on an extended holiday , complete with tutor and keep the rest, to do all she ever wanted to do. For many years I have known what I would do, commencing with setting Prue up in her own home, selling up here and moving to north Queensland, maybe a holiday to Europe with family and ensuring they have adequate educational funds for their children and the rest I would use to establish a mental health foundation, where those seeking treatment or consultations can attend , free of cost.I am passionate about this issue and deplore the fact that individuals here are denied access to proper mental health care, due to exorbitant fees. The public system is not at all geared to care for the mental health of individuals  in the way it caters for physical ailments. The bottom line is -if you don’t have the money to pay for private mental health care , too bad. In a wealthy country like Australia, this is a disgrace.Whoever wins, I hope they use the money wisely.

Class last night was great. I am enjoying it so much. I arrived home, made myself something to eat and while I was eating, my brother Daniel called. He has been calling almost nightly to check how I am going. As much as I reassure him that everything will be ok, he is concerned. My doctor wants to see me and will not discuss my condition over the phone, so I have made an appointment see him on Thursday because I have an important meeting in the city tomorrow.

It’s blowing a gale here and they are predicting the same windy conditions for the remainder of the week. Chevy(my charmingly neurotic cat) hates the wind and has gone to hide under D’s bed! LOL

Back to work for me or I will never get anything done

It has been a lovely, lazy, Sunday morning.

It has been a lovely, lazy, Sunday morning. I enjoyed breakfast , read the papers and drank some good coffee. Although cool, the sun is out and I now have the house wide open , allowing the sun and fresh air into the house.

Other than go and do some grocery shopping later this afternoon, the only other thing I have planned for today is to do some reading in preparation for class tomorrow night.Tomorrow morning, I will have to leave home quite early to pick Prue up and take her for some more scans. She is pleased that this will probably be the last of it and a decision whether or not remove her gall bladder will be made, depending on the outcome of the scans.I think we will all be happy once the situation is resolved.

It is also great to see that Poietes is back on deck. I have missed her daily blogs, which are always a joy to read. http://poietes.wordpress.com/

Enjoy the remainder of the week end

Looking ahead to the future, whatever that may be :)

You have probably noticed that the regularity of my posts has changed in recent weeks.After writing a post most days for years I have been writing 2 , maybe 3 times a week.It’s not that I don’t have anything to say but at times what I want to say would shock or upset others, or it is something I cannot discuss at all. More often  than not over the last week or so, I think anything I did write would have been a real downer for anyone who read it and I don’t want to inflict that on anyone. LOL

I revisited Prof. Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture” and it has made me realise I have much to do and any setbacks will last as long as I allow them to. If things don’t go to plan I have to move on, not give up any of my goals but tackle them in a different way. It was just the reality check I needed and I realise that as bad as I think things are, in the scheme of things , they are not that bad at all. I am fortunate in many ways and I take that for granted some times. I have a habit of dwelling on all the negatives, instead of dismissing those thoughts and experiences and looking ahead to the future, whatever that may be

Thanks for all the kind thoughts expressed here through comments and to those who have emailed me , thank you for taking the time to send such warm and supportive messages.

I believe everything happens for a reason.

The past few days have been extremely difficult, due to a number of factors. I have received some work related news that has been most disappointing and after allowing myself a day of wallowing , I am getting on with it and looking towards the future. Life is full f ups and downs and this is but a minor setback in the larger scheme of things. I believe everything happens for a reason(even if it is hard to identify at the time).

Today, I have the radiology and ultrasound appointments. I should have had them done on Monday but the equipment where i had been referred is out of action and I now have to go to a clinic down the peninsula – Frankston.Prue is coming with me , which is nice of her.I know she is concerned but as I have told her, there is no point in stressing out about it. Whatever the result, I will face it head on. What else can I do?

At least today the sun is out and the trip down the coast should be pleasant (if we can secure a car park) !

More later

I am a fortunate woman to know so many kind and generous individuals.

Before I write anything else, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been in touch and sent their best to me re: the medical investigations. I am a fortunate woman to know so many kind and generous individuals. I really  am

Last night I attended lectures and spent some time after we finished getting to know some of the other students. It has not taken long to get back into study mode and I realise just how much I have missed the mental stimulation. The worst part each week is the 20 minutes it takes to get out of the car park and the exorbitant parking fees!

When I arrived home and made myself some dinner then Daniel called. It is always good to hear from him, as he has plenty  to talk about.A family trait. LOL

I have just read about the Washington train disaster. My heart goes out to everyone involved- the victims families, the emergency workers and those who will be traumatised by such a tragic event.

Some friends cannot handle such intense conversations!

It has been a quiet week end so far. Last night we stayed in and after dinner watched TV. I dozed on and off for a couple of hours, then spent the rest of the night wide awake, thinking about all that has gone on over the past few months.

I am so glad that Prue’s health problems are beginning to be sorted out because she has already endured so much for a young woman. Now, I may be the one with problems which may throw a spanner in the works ! Yes, I have had a lot of illness over the years but for several years now I have been fit and well , with the exception of the occasional migraine. My family and friends always gravitate to me when they are in need of reassurance, someone to listen when they need a friendly ear and or when they need an honest opinion about a particular problem and I am always happy to lend a hand if I can but right now I feel I am in need of that reassurance. I do not want to burden my family with my fears and I am reluctant to share my thoughts and fears with my friends. Past experience has taught me that some friends cannot handle such intense conversations!

Today I am going to catch up on some correspondence, revise some  notes for tomorrow night’s lecture and later go out for a late lunch. I want to keep busy

Discovering a suspicious lump-just what I don’t need right now.

I am not long home from being out buying bulk supplies of chicken and meat to put in the freezer.It is much more economical and convenient than shopping weekly to do it this way. The meat will last for while as I do not eat any meat or poultry. I am glad to be back because it is getting very overcast and cold outside.

Last night, as I mentioned in my last post, I attended the doctor regarding the migraine and while I was there I thought I would ask him to examine my left breast, as I discovered a lump there some weeks ag0. At first I thought it may have been something hormonal and wasn’t concerned but when it failed to disappear I began worrying as breast cancer is prominent in my family, both maternal and paternal. He checked it out and ordered a mammography and ultrasound. He stressed that I am not to postpone it and it must be done this next week.His tone was serious , so will organise the tests first thing Monday morning.There is no point me worrying because there is nothing I can do, just have the tests and take it from there.

The last 24 hours have been hell as I have a shocking migraine.

I have been rather erratic with my posts here lately, I know but I have a lot going on and although the intention is always there, sometimes i just don’t get around to it.Another reason is I cannot write about some of the things that have been going on, as much as I want to.

The last 24 hours have been hell as I have a shocking migraine (and I do mean real migraine). No vision for several hours yesterday and minimal vision today, sensory disruption, partial paralysis( down one side) nausea and of course unrelenting pain. I have decided I cannot tolerate it any longer and will be seeing my GP later today or the headache will drag on for days, so today’s post will be brief.

Have a great week end.

Welcome to all the new readers who have commenced receiving feeds and daily email updates.

It is another cold and foggy morning here in Melbourne. The gas bill is going to be enormous because we have used the heater so much over the past month. We are fortunate we have heating because there are many who have none or if they do, cannot afford to use it. Although I feel the cold terribly, I am inclined to put on more clothing and most of the time I resemble the Michelin Man, while D prefers to wear summer clothing and have the heating turned up as high as it will go. He thinks I am quite mad that I will turn it off and open up the windows and doors during the day!

Welcome to all the new readers who have commenced receiving feeds and daily email updates. Please feel free to contribute your opinions or just say hello through comments.

I think it will be exactly what I need- to have some fun. :)

The first night of lectures went exceptionally well last night. I have spent some time this morning typing up a few notes and looking up some reference material. When the lecture concluded last night it was so cold that I was glad of the European heater in my car. You have to hand it to the Swedes, they make a fabulous heater LOL I arrived home quite late and made myself something to eat, then called Prue to see how she was feeling. She seems to be coping with the restrictions to her diet well and is looking forward to having further scans to determine if they will remove her Gall Bladder. It is giving her so much grief right now that she is resigned to surgery if that’s what is recommended.

I received a call yesterday from a friend who invited me to go to the Salvador Dali exhibition being held at the NGV. I was delighted to accept the invitation and we will be going the first week of July. We are going to make a full day of it and have dinner in town.The invitation has come at a good time as I have not been doing anything for myself lately and I think it will be exactly what I need- to have some fun.

I commence lectures tonight.

The week end here was cold but it was very good just the same. Plans I had for Saturday afternoon were cancelled due to a problem with my car. Fortunately, it was D who discovered it when he used my car to go and visit a friend on Saturday morning. When he arrived home , he rang around and eventually tracked down a water tank reservoir, which had developed a crack, so we drove to a nearby suburb to pick it up( in his car) and called to see Prue on the way home. We were concerned about her as she had a severe gall bladder attack on Friday night and was still feeling quite tender when we called around there.After an hour r so we left and returned home ,where D proceeded to repair my car.He then carried out a service and made certain the car was 100% for me to use, as this week I have a substantial amount of driving to do.It is wonderful that he is capable of doing regular maintenance and repairs as needed on both our cars!

I commence lectures tonight and I am really looking forward to it and meeting the other students.