Lately, I am constantly asking myself-what have I done with my life?The answer- not much. I am embarrassed to say that for most of my life, I have been afraid to take chances, take risks or accept fabulous opportunities which have come my way. Why? Fear of failure? Not wanting to peruse my own dreams at the expense of those I love and care about deeply? Or is it that I don’t feel I deserve to be happy? Probably all the former. Now at 58 with health that fluctuates, I think about the time I have wasted. The places I have never been, experiences I have never had,people I have never met and the home I had always longer for. These were all my choices,made by me and the reasons do not really matter.If I could do it all again, would I do anything differently? Maybe, maybe not. I only hope that when I am gone, someone- anyone will be glad of the impact I made on their life.If that happens, I will rest happily.
It is wonderful to be home for the long week end with family, after another week working 100’s of kilometres away.We don’t do anything special or out of the ordinary most of the time but just “being” with those I love is relaxing and comforting.
Anyone who has visited here before will know it has been a long time since I have posted. For no particular reason, I decided to drop off the radar,that’s it.I have not read any of the posts of long time friends( which I have missed) or random posts which appear on feeds. Since my last post, there have been personal and physical challenges for my family and extended family which have been my priority.
I now have 4 days of leave left before I return to work. The last 2 weeks have been productive, sorting through the house and disposing of anything that it no longer needed.We intend to shift to the country this year and after 35 years in the one house, we have accumulated sooooooooo much.
Other than working around home have not done anything exciting, in fact I have started to panic about returning to work! I am an anxious mess, worrying about anything and everything. I have a serious serious slump in self confidence (abilities, appearance etc.etc).I enjoy my job immensely and the company for whom I work.They have afforded me the opportunity to travel, explore new roles and included me in several projects, so why do I feel this way?
Hello to all my friends and Happy New Year,
I am back again after taking a break,mainly due to the time constraints of travelling and working away.This year I am going to slow down and enjoy life and for me part of that is reading friends’ blogs and updating my own. Other pursuits will include more mindfulness, family, health and FUN.
Last year had it’s ups and downs. More ups that downs but there were some distressing times, which appear to be over now.Life can certainly throw up some challenges! I did spend several months living with my sister( while working in Regional Victoria) which was great. Much more fun than living in rented accommodation or a hotel.It has brought us closer and solidified our relationship. I enjoyed her company and we had fun!
I have 3 weeks of annual leave before I head back to work. Bliss🙂
For me, disaster that is the catalyst for reflection about gratitude for those I love (family & friends), home, work and sadness for complete strangers whose lives are shattered.I do reflect on my life often but there is something about a disaster that drives home how fortunate I am even when times are tough.
Since this morning I have been listening to news alerts about Flight MH370. Hope has faded and retrieval teams are moving into the South China Sea.Passengers, boarded the flight, oblivious to the fate awaiting them. Family and friends headed home from the airport unaware of what was going on some 20,000 ft about the South China Sea.Lives will be changed forever, investigations will be mounted, fingers of blame will be pointed and voices will be raised about liability.Nothing will bring those passengers back, no tears of grief,investigation or class action. They are gone.
I have recently had my own reminder call to live each day as if it was my last. I am learning to let go of trivial irritations and treat each day as the bonus it is. I am finding unbelievable joy in many things that I had previously taken for granted. I am grateful and humbled when a client thanks me and tells me how I have changed their life. Glad that one day I may be remembered fondly as having made a difference, in some small way.What more could I ask for?
It has been so long since I posted here, I don’t know where to start.Firstly though, I was overwhelmed with happiness during the week when I opened my email to find a LinkedIn message from a very dear friend Lita (whom many who are followers here will know).It was the highlight of my week!
It was a hectic week, with the end of month madness at work,my birthday and a few other pressing matters, so it is good to have a day off today to relax.
I will try and make time to post regularly. My best wishes go out to all who drop by here and I would love to hear from you. MJ
It’s Australia Day and rather than write all the usual platitudes that seems to be customary, I am listing some my favourite Australian artists/groups.