Everyone seems to have their own agendas.

Do you ever ask yourself “what do friends really mean to me and what do I mean to them?” Call me a crazy optimist maybe but when I am in a friendship it’s genuine, equal and nurtured. I am there when needed and keep my own counsel unless asked, in good times and times of crisis. Friendship for me means trust in each other and the knowledge that your friend will be there for you if needed too but in recent years sadly, genuine friends are few and far between.Everyone seems to have their own agendas and some friendships are shallow based on what can be derived from the relationship, then abandoned  to move on to another who can best provide what they require.

Yes, relationships change, people outgrow each other and interests may no longer be compatible- it happens but what about those relationships that continually keep kicking you in the head? It is you who is always there, it is you who is the shoulder on which to cry, it is you who listens endlessly as the friend pours out their soul at at 2 am but that same so called friend is nowhere to be found when you need that shoulder? You do as I have done and that is severe the ties. Harsh yes  and I will miss those rare moments which were great to be around my friend but not to the extent that I can continue to tolerate such self obsessive and single minded behaviour.My genuine friends are that- friends and I appreciate them, as they do me 🙂


8 thoughts on “Everyone seems to have their own agendas.

  1. Dianaandian.wordpress.com
    Very interesting post, I must say that most of this I agree with. True friendship is cultivated, harvested, nurtured, and blossoms into something beautiful. What you put into it, you will get out in some shape or form. It might not always be a plentiful harvest, but it will grow to be shared. Now, if someone proves to have their own agenda and they are just hanging around for the sake of hanging around or hanging around to reap things, then for your own sanity and wellbeing, this relationship must come to a halt and chalk it up to an end in your book of life.
    P.S. : When someone values the contribution and commitment of a relationship, all the signs will come to light and the outward signs will show. Therefore, that “Friend” will be there at 2am when it is your turn to rest your head on their shoulder.

  2. Hi Ian,
    Thanks for your comments. Situations like this are sad but as you said , for your own sanity,sometimes you need to let go and move on.
    Best wishes
    Maureen 🙂

  3. Maureen,

    I find that I trust too easily and thus jump into what I believe to be friendships too easily. This was my mode when I was working. I would make a new friend, and things would be going along fine, and then, without warning, I would become a sacrificial lamb in a web of which I was totally unaware. It has happened to me twice, and it really affected me badly. This last time was at my last job before going out on disability, and the person I believed to be my friend turned out to be sabotaging my job, my reputation, everything. My boss actually took me aside and told me because he knew that I was unaware, and he also knew that the things that she was saying were untrue. I felt so dirty, even for months after I left.

    I can count on one hand the number of true friends that I have in my life, the ones that I can trust, who will be there no matter what. I truly believe that that’s about all that you get in life, and they should be savored.

  4. Hi Lita,
    I can understand exactly how you felt.Unlike you,I take a long tome to trust someone but when I do, I trust them implicitly, unconditionally and without hesitation.I too, have a clutch of true friends whom I love dearly 🙂

  5. Hi Maureen,

    I too appreciate this post. I trust too easily myself. I totally understand poietes remembrance and experience of being a “sacrificial lamb.” I had not tasted this until I lived in a small town in Iowa. Rumors and gossip began from someone I considered a friend and it hurt deeply. I’ve never known a person so vindictive. I have learned to enter friendships a little more slowly with my eyes wide open.

    Good friends are a gift to be treasured. I can’t imagine my world without these dear souls beside me.

  6. Dear Maureen:

    I enjoy reading your blog and can relate to the many entries you make. In fact, if everyone was not so spread out, I would have you and many of your readers over for dinner. I don’t know what you do for a living, but I think you could be the next Oprah! (she is a very popular talk show host in the United States)

    Very Hollywood, I know. lol

    Lee Klein
    Fine Artist

  7. Hi Dawn,
    Thanks for your comment, Small towns and malicious so caled friends are not a good mix, that’s for sure. It must have been heartbreaking for you too, having this friend character assassinate you like that. Your caution when entering into a friendship is completely understandable- once bitten etc.
    Best wishes to you
    Maureen 🙂

  8. Hi Lee,
    You are a gem! Thanks for your kind comments and what a night we would have if we all gathered for dinner!The Australian Oprah, hmm, maybe not , I would not last 5 minutes because I would not be able to keep my opinions to myself and sponsors would jump ship in droves Ha ha.
    Best wishes and Happy New Year.
    Maureen 🙂

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