The bond between parent and child is hard to describe to anyone who is not a parent.


Last night, I was exhausted and went to bed relatively early for me(12:30) but sleep was difficult.My thoughts were of my daughter Prue, who is very unwell and whom I picked up from her house yesterday, to come and stay here where I can care for her.She has been unwell for many years but her problems have been exacerbated by additional complications in recent months. It is difficult for me, as her mother to see her so unwell. She has an appointment today with her doctor and I will going with her to insist that something is done. For too long there has been an attitude of “let’s wait and see”, meanwhile she is withdrawing further into herself , to a place that even I have trouble reaching at times. She’ s young, vibrant and beautiful with her whole life in front of her. Already she has missed out on so much of life that has been experienced by her peers, through illness and it is beginning to affect her self confidence and social skills. Today, I will be wearing my assertive hat and not budging from the doctor’s rooms until something is done!

The bond between parent and child is hard to describe to anyone who is not a parent.Prior to having Prue, children were the last thing on my mind. Any maternal feelings were exhausted through caring for my siblings over many years and the thought of babies did not enter my mind. That was, until I was told I would never have children. We attempted to have children for years and when we had given up and were examining the possibility of adoption, I discovered I was pregnant. Although jubilant, the prospect of  pregnancy and giving birth became a medical nightmare because I was told  to expect there to only be one survivor of  the  pregnancy. I won’t go into the details only to say it was harrowing for everyone concerned. We both survived and Prue’s birth was indeed a medical first- my miracle child! I cherish each day and never forget just how blessed I was to give birth to her. 🙂

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10 thoughts on “The bond between parent and child is hard to describe to anyone who is not a parent.

  1. Maureen,

    I understand the concept of your “miracle baby.” It is devastating to stand by and watch your child (no matter how old she is) suffer and not be able to do anything about it. There is nothing like a mother’s need to protect her child(ren). After Caitlin, or actually during Caitlin, I became very actively involved with all of her caretakers, and refused to be told placating things like “we’ll see.”

    After that experience, I’ve always been very up front with doctors. Some of them try to put me back in my place as “just the mom,” but I don’t backdown–ever. The doctors who have been taking care of Alexis, Eamonn and Brett since birth know me, know to be up front with me, and know who to send me to for referrals because they know that person cannot be old school because I won’t tolerate it.

    Don’t leave the office without the information that you need. Don’t let them try to put you in your place as “just” a woman/mother/layperson. I found that often I was just as intelligent if not more than some of the people with whom I was dealing, and it helped when I needed to get the information that I wanted.

    When it comes to Prue, use the military’s slogan: by any means necessary. I’ll be thinking of you.

    Lita

  2. Hi Maureen,

    Sorry to hear about your daughter being unwell.

    Hope she will be fine soon.

    Yes, a bond between a parent and child is indeed hard to comprehend, yet the magic in it is the bond itself!

    Take care .

    Jaded

  3. Hello, Maureen,
    Your post, among other things, reminds me that we are people of body, mind and spirit. And that a wound in one area can adversely affect the health in the other areas. I empathize with you and know that the parental bond carries with it some feelings of anxiety and helplessness, as we find ourselves unable to protect our children as we wish we could. I would suggest that your loving care for Prue, your accompanying her to the doctor’s office, this is an important and healing medicine for her right now. Through sharing this story you have also surrounded the two of you with people who care. Keep us posted.

  4. Hi Dan,
    Thank you. You understand the holistic nature of health and the importance of love and support. Your words are very comforting.
    Best wishes
    Maureen 🙂

  5. Hi Dawn,
    Great hearing from you and thanks for your comment. I have been visiting you blog but thought you must have been away as there have not been any recent updates.
    Hmm, I am really happy you feel comfortable with my blogs. I am me, honest and probably too direct for my own good at times!!!!
    I look forward to reading more of your blog soon.
    Maureen 🙂

  6. Hi Maureen

    I am sorry to hear about Prue being so unwell and she has my prayers and best wishes. My Mum is 88 (B’day on NY Day), lives next door and is my best friend. I truly hope that you and Prue get to have a long life together. My daughter lost her battle with depression when she was only 34 – seven years ago. Give Prue a hug for me and stay close to her. She needs it – even if she says she doesn’t. Silence is only golden, when it is broken with the words of love. God speed.
    Lesley

  7. Thanks Lesley.
    You have experienced so much sorrow as a mother.Children are not meant to leave this world before their parents and your grief must be enormous.Obviously, can see the bigger picture and it is a concern but with love and the support of so many wonderful people I know she will get through this.
    Maureen 🙂

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