Is this all there is?


A few moments ago, I got off the phone after having a very long conversation with one of my closest friends. We chatted about all the routine topics;work, family etc and I could not help notice just how happy she was, which was a pleasant change as she has been through quite a bit during the last 3 years, including loosing her husband who had been ill for many years. I am so happy that she is finally emerging from beneath that dark cloud where  she has been for some time.

As we chatted, I found myself reflecting on my own life and wondered when it was that I had lost  my joie de vivre. The reality hit me like a moving train that my hopes and dreams have faded and I have settled, something I never believed would happen to me. My mind began racing, thinking of all those wonderful plans  and the stark reality that they will probably remain dreams, never to realised and quite frankly, it is not a good feeling. Is this all there is?

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16 thoughts on “Is this all there is?

  1. Maureen,

    Oh those damned reality moments. Don’t you just want to scream? But don’t listen to them. If you do, you’ll end up knitting by the sea with a shawl around you, and I just can’t picture you doing that . . .

    Of course this isn’t all there is. It’s just that today, your friend won the coin toss on the karma game of chance, and you came out on the losing side.

    Never give up on your dreams. Never let go of your plans. If not today, or even tomorrow, then maybe someday, but not at all if you don’t try.

    There is an aching sadness to your post that makes me think that several things may be happening: you are exhausted for one thing. You’ve spent so much energy on your daughter that you’ve gotten turned around and had a bout of the life is shorter than we always thought that it would be smack you in the face. And, you need some love.

    I’m probably not the best one to be trying to give your spirits a boost here since I’m still on the tail end of my own downer. Just know that people do care about you and are thinking about you.

    Hugs, Lita

  2. Hi Lita,
    You are right . I am tired and I am feeling emotionally exhausted, not down , just slightly worn out. I am having one of those days where I feel disappointed that so many of the dreams and plans I have held onto for years have failed to eventuate. Life has a way of doing that. Just when you think you know the path you will take, life intervenes, taking you in another direction altogether! There is also that haunting reality that life is so short and there is so much I want to do.Could this be a mini mid life crisis???? Whatever it is, I know tomorrow is another day and I have much to be thankful for.
    Thank you for your thoughts and also that much needed reminder that whether I achieve all those dreams or not, there are still people who accept and care for me, regardless 🙂

  3. Your dreams don’t have to go by the wayside. You’re not dead and your dreams only die when you let them. Possibility thinking.

  4. Dear Maureen:

    You have quite a blog following. We all love you! Please do not give up on your dreams. Every one of us has “burdens” and “baggage” that we carry around with us. We just have to do the best we can with what life throws at us.
    Taking a long walk helps me. I have two dogs that remind me every day that it is time to take a walk. Also, take time out to think about all of the wonderful things you have in life.
    Most importantly, take time out for you. Do something special for yourself today. You are tremendously talented. Your writing touches us all.
    What are your dreams? Write them down and look at them each morning and each night before you go to bed. Never ever give up.

    Lee

  5. Hi Lee,
    You are such a terrific person. I appreciate your generous comments and sound advice. Today is a new day and it is amazing what a night’s sleep can do!
    Take lots of care
    Maureen

  6. You are the most amazing, strong, intelligent and compassionate woman I have ever had the privilege to know. You are my compass. I don’t know if one of your goals was ever to be a wonderful mother, but if it was, you can cross it off the list because every day I think of how lucky I am to be your daughter.

    You are the furthest thing from ordinary, remember that. You deserve to follow your dreams and your heart, so don’t hesitate Mumma.

    xxoxoxo

  7. It is my hope that your friend is truly happy. Loss of a love one is such a long haul. One you’ll never forget.
    I agree with Leeklein about taking a walk with your pets.
    Whatever life throws at you, we have no choice but to think of “now” and the future.
    What really gets to me is how our society is, today.

    How we seem to close each other out.
    Notice how individuals go about their day, passing each other and not saying a word.
    Funny how we act to each other in the real world.
    I walk along downtown, each and everyone of us is in their invisible cloak, nothing to say or do. Just caring out our tasks of the day.
    Take a minute or two at the next intersection to say something to the person beside you.
    Is it just me or don’t we all wonder what the person beside you is thinking?
    Or, in a women’s point of view, do you really want to know what that man is thinking beside you, waiting for the light to change.
    This protective cloak that we wear in the outside world can prevent us from meeting the person of our lives.
    I feel that we must all feel and express your inner thoughts – as long as they’re good thoughts.
    Thanks to the internet where we can express our thoughts openly and still be in our protective cloak.
    Cheers!
    bari
    http://chefbari.com

  8. Hi Bari,
    Thanks you for your heartfelt comment. You are correct . People seem to care less and less about each other now 😦
    Best wishes
    Maureen.

  9. Hi Bari,
    Thanks for stopping by again. Just so you know, I am not a professional blog writer but I would enjoy taking a look at your novel. I am flattered you invited me to read it 🙂

  10. Hi Maureen,
    Well, one thing for sure, you sure are very close to a professional blogger because you are very descriptive with your nouns and organized. Very neat blogging website. I would be honored if you read my manuscript – science fiction novel.
    Anyone that helps me constructively, I will place their name into the book, once I receive a publisher that is interested in my book, then maybe I can become best seller. I can hope.
    Getting a publisher is like winning a lottery, because of the thousands of manuscripts each publisher receives in one month alone. So, I can see it from their point of view.
    I’m rambling along here, so I better say bye for now.
    Thank you once again and you are a great blogger and I love your site.
    thanks again,
    bari
    http://outdoorsnorthwest.org

  11. Hi Bari,
    You are very kind to write such a glowing assessment of my blog, thank you and thank you for reading it.
    I am aware that finishing a manuscript is only half of the task. Finding a publisher is the other half(and just as time consuming)! Science fiction sounds exciting. I am looking forward to reading it 🙂
    Maureen

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