I find it quite sad that so many individuals cannot experience the pleasure of sexual fulfillment.

As a woman who has recently turned 50, I have women friends of a similar age who  come to me when they are in need of a sympathetic ear or in need of (wait for it) advice about sex. Why me, is a question I am constantly asking myself but they do and quite often. Most likely it is because I am trained in dealing with specific sexual problems but none of these are relevant to my friends so it  must be because I am very direct and will discuss any  sexually related topic openly.It still makes me wonder though because I am no Xaviera Hollander. LOL

What never ceases to amaze me is that without exception, each of these friends who have approached me to discuss their sexual concerns , have minimal knowledge of their own bodies AND have got to middle age  and are sexually unfulfilled.How can this be? Are these women in the minority or are they representative of the majority and if the latter,  there must an extraordinary number of women who have never orgasmed!

As a society we will discuss most topics openly , yet individuals are reticent to discuss sexual problems. Not locker room sexual banter but open and frank discussion, in much the same way as we discuss general health issues. The Scandinavian countries  who are particularly well informed and educated about sexual matters,  are not embarassed about sex at all.

I find it quite sad that so many individuals cannot experience the pleasure of sexual fulfillment.


7 thoughts on “I find it quite sad that so many individuals cannot experience the pleasure of sexual fulfillment.

  1. Nice post. For spend thrift friends, electric tooth brushes may be something that they already own and last quite a while on a single charge.

  2. Sorry, I was interrupted yesterday when I was trying to write a serious comment to your post. I had just gotten started when I was pulled away, and all I had was one sentence, and that one sentece appears to be a glib commentary to a serious situation.

    I think women of our generation fall into two categories: the women who were given the same basic talk about their bodies, which was you have an area down there that will be used for sex and you probably won’t enjoy it, and then there were the women who were not willing to accept that explanation and went somewhere else, to a friend, to a book (Our Bodies, Our Selves), to classes, to all of these. I just couldn’t accept that I had these body part and knew nothing about them. I also could not accept that I would have sex and get nothing out of it.

    A lot of it was the societal shame leftover from the 50’s and 60’s. Who you married and who you didn’t. You might fool around with a girl who was good in bed, but you didn’t marry her. So women didn’t want to know.

    By the 70’s though, there was a major breakthrough, not just free love, but women telling other women that it was okay to have an orgasm, in fact, they should have orgasms.

    I remember going out to dinner with two friends of mine in the mid 80’s and being astonished to learn that they had never had orgasms during sex, only through masturbation or oral sex. They wanted to know how to achieve it during sex. So we were sitting there eating our Chinese, and I was teaching them kiegel exercises, and then telling them when to kiegel during sex and when to raise their buttocks.

    I mention this only because if women to not advocate for other women and remove the stigma, then who will?

  3. Hi Lita,
    I couldn’t agree more with your comments. The unfortunate part of this is that many women will not reveal they are having problems. It is this reason that I felt compelled to write the post yesterday. Sometimes, simple exercises (kiegel), breathing techniques or even tantra techniques can lead to greater satisfaction and/or orgasm.
    It is also fortuitous if a woman has a skilled and generous lover who will spend the time necessary for the woman to relax and to enjoy the sensations she is experiencing.
    Best wishes
    Maureen 🙂

  4. While I became aware of my sexuality at a young age, I was well into my twenties before I experienced sex. I had a series of bad experiences, which led to self imposed chastity. I then got over my embarrassment and purchased a vibrator. It completely changed how I felt about my self as a woman. It allowed me to open up, and pursue the healthiest sexual relationship I ever had.

    At first my boyfriend was intimidated that I had a vibrator. However, it is really what allowed me to enjoy sex with him more. And now I never even use it. Well, hardly ever 🙂

  5. Hi Tiffany,
    Great comment. I do believe that a woman needs to explore her body and determine what turns her on. Vibrators can and do intimidate some men(most find it very exciting) but they are a wonderful adjunct to any sexually fulfilling relationship 🙂

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