It really is difficult for someone who is not into bars etc. to meet suitable middle aged men.


Whenever I am feeling slightly stressed or pre-occupied I tend to start cleaning or cooking.Both, I find relaxing and for a short time I can loose myself and forget about everything. On Wednesday I have an important meeting which has required extensive preparation and being the A1 personality type personality that I am, I have ensured that all the information is accurate, professionally presented and certain to impress.After two days of working on the documentation I felt the need to unwind and it began last night when I cooked a terrific dinner and again this morning when I did some baking to be placed in the freezer.I try to keep the freezer stocked with meals and bakery items which are handy when working late or when visitors drop by unexpectedly. The weather here is supposed to be in the 40C+ all week , so the baking was done early this morning, so as not to heat up the house.

I really enjoy the hot weather and can happily exist with the ceiling fans only but D has to have the a/c going  day and night , which means I spend most evenings wrapped in a blanket trying to get warm! We are fortunate to have air conditioning so I shouldn’t complain. The conditions are perfect for bush fires, something I have experienced  and never wish to experience again but it is a regular occurrence in this country. Last week, several outbreaks occurred not far from here  and the area was blanketed in smoke for two days and last week the conditions were nothing like those expected this week.

This morning while I was waiting for the cakes to cook, a good friend called to tell me she was sending me  and email she had received through one of those on- line dating agencies, with a list of possible matches. This friend has recently decided to look for a guy with whom she can have a friendship/relationship and is finding  it difficult to meet suitable companions, so she turned to the on line method.

The bios of some of the guy were unbelievable, to say nothing of  what type of partners they were seeking! None impressed her and she seemed rather despondent about the entire process.I can’t say that I blame her as none impressed me either. It really is difficult for someone who is not into bars etc. to meet suitable middle aged men but I am sure she will meet someone when she least expects it. Isn’t that usually the way?

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15 thoughts on “It really is difficult for someone who is not into bars etc. to meet suitable middle aged men.

  1. If I have learned anything in life it is that when you are single, things like “you will meet someone when you stop looking” both stupefy and anger you. To the point that you actually do stop looking. And then you meet someone.

  2. Absolutely. When you aren’t looking, you find someone. It’s when you are trying too hard the nothing goes right and you just can’t find anyone.

  3. Hi Lita,
    I agree with you. I suggested she give the on line match making a miss and get out socializing a bit more where she will meet a variety of people , make some new friends and who knows, she make be introduced to someone with whom she is compatible.
    Maureen 🙂

  4. Maureen:

    Meeting men — hmmmmm, kind of like Vegemite. lol

    No, seriously; you should have no problem. What about going to art openings. Go to art galleries and get on their mailing list. They will send you invitations when they have openings. They serve wine and food. You like art. It is a free evening and you just might meet “Mr. Right.” Also, museums have lectures all of the time. Maybe cooking classes since you like to cook.

    It will happen when you are ready.

    Lee

  5. Hi Lee,
    No,it is not me who is looking for a guy but my widowed friend. LOL Thank you for those wonderful suggestions which I will certainly pass on to her.
    Best wishes
    Maureen 🙂

  6. Oh Maureen,

    Put on some f-me shoes, you know you want to . . . take along a jar of Vegemite! Too funny.

    Why don’t we both go out, but I have to tell you, I like my men younger . . .

  7. Ha ! When people say they can’t seem to meet members of the opposite sex, I think it is ridiculous.

    What they really mean is they haven’t met anyone they fancy as a potential partner. There are a huge number of reasons for not so far having met a potential partner, starting with the ability to actually just meet a lot of people in the first place from which to have a pool of people to size up.

    So, all anyone has to do is to get out there and meet a large number of different people, some of whom will be single and ‘in the market’. Others won’t be ‘in the market’ because they already have partners, but might be so dumbstruck by a new acquaintance, they leave existing partners and latch onto you and you them.

    So, it is all about just meeting people ennit !

    Therefore any activity, social or work, which involves exposure to the maximum number of people offers the opportunity to meet potential partners.

    All you have to do is talk to them. That’s the process of sussing them out. Are they single; question one; what do they do for a living; question two …..

    You know the sort of thing, sussing them out. As the cross examination proceeds, a decision is being made by both people whether they might want to become friends. And we all know where becoming ‘just friends’ can lead !

    There was once upon a time a very clever device invented aimed at refining this process to speed it all up as much as possible and make it a bit more efficient.

    It’s called ‘the party’ !

    This is a great idea for meeting hordes of people in a short space of time. So, you can go to a half decent party, meet about a hundred people, chat to maybe half of them, come away after of two hours of intensive chatter and mutual cross examinations and maybe, if you’re lucky, an invitation or two to some more parties and a couple of people who want to keep in touch with you.

    Ergo, your social circle is already expanding ! Simple really.

    If you are a single unattached recluse (like me) stuck in a rut with absolutely no social life whatever, the chances of meeting a potential partner are virtually zilch.

    So get out there and socialise or something.

    Anything that involves meeting people will do – even bars. But while bars are a possibility, they are only a slight possibility because most people go to bars with their friends and chatter amongst themselves.

    A single person grimly nursing a drink in the corner, is going to find it seriously difficult to break in to one of these chattering groups; and if they do, they can’t just go in there and say ‘ Hi, I’m a sad, lonely, bitter and twisted single person, desperate to make friends with anybody’.

    Even if they don’t actually use those words, but butt in and say something cheerily, like, ‘Hi, I spend loads of time in this bar and I notice from what you were saying that you’re all new around here. Let me introduce myself ‘, the secret hidden body language you exude from every cell of your person still gives out the message loud and clear that you are a desperate, lonely has been who will do anything to smarm their way into someone’s -anyone’s – acquaintance.

    So it not really a starter, is it ? Better go to that party instead, where the rules are all different. There, you are not only allowed to introduce yourself to complete strangers, but are actually expected to. In fact, if you don’t, you are likely to be thought of as a bit of an oddball.

    As well as ‘the party’, any activity that involves meeting people is good. You could try getting out of bed in the mornings and going to work. That helps, sometimes. Being friendly and helpful in general to other people when you do meet them is always useful because they are then automatically inclined to invite you places – like the nearby Starbucks coffee shop to have a natter over a cup of coffee or something.

    Get a hobby of some kind and dream up other ways of finding excuses to meet like minded people; it works a treat !

    The only problem with all this, is that, if you are a sad, lonely, bitter and twisted single person, oozing envy at all those happy go lucky, cheerful couples, it will show.

    So when you meet other single people, who are most likely to be vaguely similar, you will exchange bitter and twisted tales about each other’s lives explaining just why you are bitter and twisted because you are on you own.

    So that’s the way both of you will stay – just endlessly exchanging hard luck tales of lonely single life.

    Married people are always immensely more attractive to members of the opposite sex. When I was married I was constantly bombarded with endless unlikely propositions from unlikely bimbettes.

    Now I’m middle age, sagging and single, oh and penniless, having had my finances completely decimated by rapacious, destructive former partners, I’m thoroughly bitter and twisted, reclusive and don’t even know where to begin my rehabilitation.

    Any offers out there ?

    Bimbettes not welcome.

  8. This started out intended to be just a sentence or two as a comment, but soon got out of hand and so I carried on because I thought I would a0 use as a post on my blog MODERN TIMES IN MUDSHIRES at:

    http:// rocketspage.wordpress.com/

    and try and flog it as an article in the press somewhere (that’s my trade, see !)

  9. Now I know why my first attempt at posting was ‘discarded’. Your site doesn’t like web addresses. So when I put my blog url in it threw a wobbly and wouldn’t post.

  10. Hi there Roderick,
    Thanks for your comments. I will be certain to pass them on to my friend.
    I am so glad to hear from you again. The last time we were in contact was before Christmas.
    Best wishes
    Maureen 🙂

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