Self nurturing & withdrawing to take stock.


The week end was a bit underwhelming. Saturday was a lovely day, perfect for getting out and about but that did not happen.To compensate I prepared something special for our dinner and that managed to keep me busy for the latter part of the day. Due to the weather (which was absolutely terrible yesterday) and a few other factors, lunch has been postponed until next week, or whenever it suits everyone. I had been looking forward to it but the storm conditions made going out uncomfortable and rather dangerous at times, so we stayed home most of the day and I caught up on some reading .It is unbelievable that we had gale forced winds,violent thunderstorms and low temperatures here, while in Sydney they were taking it easy on the beaches, basking in the sun!I would like to think that this is the last winter I will endure here in Melbourne but I know it is not.

For several weeks now, I have felt rather down, restless and lost a lot of faith in people I once considered to be friends. Maybe I have stopped looking for the best in people and seen life how it really is, warts and all, without rose col0ured glasses?Whatever it is, I have been taking time out to reflect on my relationships with others and how they impact on my life and the lives of those around me.I think too often I have become a crutch for others. The one who is always there to listen to their problems, be supportive and help when I can but the bottom line is I have discovered is that it is seldom reciprocated and it has become tiresome. I am vivacious and happy by nature but lately I am beginning to resent being the “go to person”. I am removing myself from these situations and those affected will have to take responsibility for their actions and work out their ownย  issues. I feel I need to nurture me a bit more ๐Ÿ™‚

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8 thoughts on “Self nurturing & withdrawing to take stock.

  1. I know exactly what you are going through and hope that I have been supportive enough to you so as not to be a burden , I don’t think so but I’m always a little insecure. I also had to distance myself from several people who expected me to play a role that I was no longer willing to play.
    So I understand completely, now I am getting stroked by these same people who miss me and want a re-connection but I am not willing to start again fearing the old roles that I’ve outgrown will be renewed without my being able to stop it before it’s too late. So instead I have chosen to ignore the overatures and be an island till I find those who are my advocated, not my enemies. Good Luck with your people too.
    Peace
    Glen

  2. I sometimes feel myself swamped or overcome by everyones petty problems & complex issues and that’s not even considering my troubles. All of course expect or demand epic solutions. There is a constant drone for solutions to those irrating problems, needs, wants & desires of so many. Resolution by none other is oft the norm as well and yet no return of favor, not even credit for their salvation.
    I, in these times are too in need of assistance that no one seems equipped to provide, save one or two but most usually MYSELF! Mother thy self? Is that possible? I in order to survive my existence have to realize/justify it with reasoning , though it may be ever so obique.
    No matter how small or trivial anyone’s needs are. It is important to that person at that time.
    Help me to clean basement, cook, wash, pickup, sweep, doctor, mother, father, work, pay the bills, listen to meaningless banter, tend the pets, tend the garden, there is something wrong with my car, my toy is broke, wash the windows, give advice, listen to why that was bad advice, take out the trash and finally number twenty, wait for them even though their an hour late.
    There are twenty things that irratate me and I can go on but twenty will do. I see these things as irratants but then realize if I do them as well as I can. They are now twenty things done well and there is nothing trivial about that! I have made a difference in my life and the lives of others and that too is meaningful and important.
    I think this method of self Mothering/ Doctoring has served me well with most events, diasters, and general mayhem over these years.
    It seems only natural that no matter how bad I feel about somethings listing them out seems to make them look better, especailly on the oblique side of life.
    Discover your own obliqueness. Find a way to cope with all life’s over whelming trivia. You are important and sometimes over needed, used and abused but look at all the good you provide.

  3. Hi Glen,
    I am going to write more today about this but rest assured, you are not in the group I mentioned! You and many others have been so supportive of me in recent times and I appreciate any value that kind if friendship. It is not to be taken lightly and believe me, speaking from my heart, it is not.
    I think you have made the right decision too. We get ourselves into patterns of behavior and sometimes it is difficult to extricate ourselves from them but you have, so don’t look back!
    Warm regards
    Maureen ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Hi Richard,
    You are such a wise man and what you say is right. I am going to write more about this today.I willingly give my time, support, and friendship without the expectation of anything in return, except respect and truthfulness.It gives me great pleasure to assist an individual, whether personally or professionally(not to be confused with personal relationships),however I can but when those personal relationships are being abused and taken for granted I tend to notice, give it some time, then as a last resort, distance myself from that person.
    Take care my friend
    Maureen ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Hi, Maureen,

    This post connects with me, since my vocation is one where people often come to me to get their emptiness filled full. This drains the giver, of course, and so I have found it important to take the time needed to fill myself up again.
    It sounds like you may be “running on empty” because of your generous giving of yourself in your relationships. It’s important to take as much time out as you need to refill and recharge, and reassess in that process. So do what you need to do with the awareness that those near and dear to you will be the better for it.

  6. Maureen,
    Unfortunately for you, you are too much of an empath: you feel things so deeply and genuinely, and other people pick up on that, especially those who are weak themselves and are in perpetual need of someone to prop them up, or fix them up, or help them out, or . . .

    At times such as these, especially in light of all that has been going on recently, you must withdraw and envelope yourself in your own safety cloak. Allow yourself these periods of self-absorption as they can only make you stronger. But must of all, do not be afraid to say, “no, I simply cannot do that right now.”

    Big hugs,

    Lita

  7. Hi Dan,
    Yes, your vocation must place an incredible strain on you. I admire you and your tenacity to give of yourself the way you do.The world is a better place for it. I will take your advice. Thank you.
    Maureen ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. HI Lita and thanks as always,
    I have been trying to take that advice. It seems I have been running on empty and my battery needs re-charging!
    Hugs
    Maureen ๐Ÿ™‚

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