Father’s Day is always a rather reflective day for me. I think about my own father who died several years ago, after long battle with cancer, which made his final two years a hell on earth.It was not until those final few months(when I was caring for him) that I felt he had any emotional connection with me at all. He was a complex individual, brought up by older father and his parenting skills were learned behaviour, based on his own upbringing. That learned behaviour had an incredibly negative effect on myself and my siblings and although there were the odd moments of laughter,memories of our childhood are far from happy. My father was a wonderful provider materially and worked hard to support his immediate family,financially assist several of his own siblings and make generous contributions to the Church( which dominated his being) and the wider community but he was unable to demonstrate any love, affection or accept his children as individuals , let alone adults as they grew up.
It is only since I returned to study several years ago , that I have been able to understand the dynamics of our family life and how that contributed to such a dysfunctional family and let go of the past. It has had an impact on each and every one of us and I hope that my siblings( who if they are honest with themselves and will agree 100% with everything I have written here) can also get to a place where they let go of the past and understand our father was a product of his own dysfunctional upbringing and did not know any other way.Dads love your children!
Happy Father’s Day 🙂